The Tim Duncan Era (...and why I hate it)

Let's get something straight. I do not "hate" Tim Duncan or the Spurs. If I knew Duncan personally I'd probably like the guy. The same goes for most of the rest of the Spurs. They seem like cool guys (except for Tony Parker). Why is it then that I cannot bear to watch the Spurs play basketball or even contemplate the possibility of their winning another NBA Championship? At one time I even rooted for them back when the Lakers went fo'-fo'-fo'-fi on the way to their third Championship back in '01. So what is the cause of all this hatred? I'm glad you asked.

1). Tim Duncan's overratedness:

Tim Duncan is possibly the most heavily overrated basketball player in the history of the NBA. The most consistent, maybe. But also very, VERY overrated. Most fans forget the circumstances TD found himself in when he was drafted No.1 in '97.

For one thing, he found himself on the same team as one David Robinson. You know, 10-time All-Star, 4-time All-NBA First Team, 4-Time All-Defensive First Team, Defensive Player of the year in '92, Former scoring, rebounding and blocked shots leader, one of the NBA's 50 best players of all time, Future hall of famer and oh right I almost forgot, NBA MVP JUST 1 YEAR PREVIOUSLY!!! Long story short, this guy could ball.

How did Duncan find himself on the same team as Robinson? Oh cos' Robinson missed all but 6 games of the previous season due to a broken foot. The year before that the Spurs had won 62 games on their way to the Western Conf. Finals. So basically Duncan joined an already stacked team with an unselfish Superstar in his prime and I'm supposed to believe that Duncan somehow magically was responsible for how good his team became?

Anyway, moving along, due to the practically brilliant drafting of the Spurs management, Duncan has found himself on teams with no less than one other current All-Star, every year that he has been in the league except 2002-2004. So it's not like he's been carrying his team single-handedly a la Kevin Garnett (until this season). So don't tell me he's the best player in the league or that he's the best PF of all time or that he's better than KG. Please.

2). The "Tim Duncan Look":

Have you ever seen Tim Duncan commit a foul? Well Duncan would probably say that you haven't because according to him, he's NEVER committed a foul. It get's really tiring watching him flash that palms-upward, wide-eyed stare of his every time the whistle blows. It's just a reflex to him now. Equally annoying is when he flashes it on offense every time thinks he got fouled. EVEN MORE ANNOYING is that all of his teammates have copied this and actually get fouls called in their favour because of it. Speaking of which...

3). Tony Parker:

This is a step by step guide to playing basketball like Tony Parker:
Cross-over
Take two dribbles
Pick up dribble
Spin
Take 4 steps
Put up wild lay-up
Hit the floor while grunting like Monica Seles even though there's no one within 4 feet of you.
Flash the Tim Duncan Look(TM) at the referee.
Shoot free throws.
Repeat.

Also, he's French and he's banging Eva Longoria. 'nuff said.

4). Bruce Bowen:

What can be said about the guy that hasn't already been said? I kind of admire the guy. He isn't remotely as gifted as say Vince Carter or Tracy Mcgrady but he gets the most out of his miniscule talents and somehow managed to stay in the league while even thriving from time to time. However, he is one dirty mo fo. I can't imagine how anyone he plays against can resist punching him in the face. I really can't.

5). Flopping:

If the league kept stats on flopping you know the Spurs would be far and away the league leaders. It's annoying, it's not basketball and if the Spurs have anything to say about the matter, it's here to stay.

6). Greg Poppovich:

I respect him as a coach and the way he manages and develops his players, but did you read his whiny b*tch comments about the Kwame-Gasol trade? I'm sorry Pops, were you expecting the Griz to let Gasol's contract expire then watch him sign with the Spurs for the mid-level exception or league minimum just like Horry, Barry, Finley, Stoudamire, (insert name here), in order to win a championship?

I'm a firm believer in the the tenet that all things happen for a reason. I'm certain that there is a reason weird things have been happening this season. Like the Shaq-Marion trade for instance. And Kobe's injured pinkie. Maybe the Suns aren't gonna go to the finals this year. Maybe the Spurs will find themselves there again, but they will find that the KG and the Celtics waiting for them. Maybe this year will be the year KG is finally validated. Whatever the case may be, I'll just be happy to watch the Spurs lose.